Letting yourself win > spreading yourself thin 🙌🏾

Hey guys,

Am I the only one who almost always feels as though there’s just not enough of me to go around?

At the moment, my main priority and job role is raising my son to the best of my ability. As the primary caregiver, a lot of the daily decision-making and responsibilities fall onto my shoulders. From laundry, to mealtimes, constantly researching into new activities to keep him both occupied and educated at the same time, researching into the best methods to tackle any difficult areas surrounding him reaching specific milestones — honestly the list goes on and on and on …. 😫

That, and the never ending list of household chores that need doing! Also, as fulfilling as motherhood can be and how blissfully happy I am with my life, it definitely does not begin and end with being a mother!

Don’t get me wrong at all, I completely adore my son and my partner is an amazing Dad and team player. He is extremely hands on and we work so well together and find strengths in the others’ weaknesses and all that jazz — but he works full-time so he physically can’t be equally as involved in everything that I am. That and he’s so laidback he makes a recliner look uptight!

So, after a hectic day of chasing after a much more adorable but competitively wild version of the Tasmanian devil (the child’s energy just does not cease), I am usually pooped. All I want to do is unwind with a lovely shower and either zone out and catch up with my favourite TV shows, or get stuck into a good book, although the majority of the time I am completely content with being able to switch off and do absolutely nothing when the opportunity presents itself (however fleetingly it may be)!

But wait, there’s still more…

I still have goals and aspirations. In my ‘free time’ (what’s that?), I do my best to keep on top of my blog, which is a lot easier said than done a lot of the time. Take this post for example, I wrote the first draft for this post at the beginning of the month and I’m only now squeezing in time to edit it whilst my son has his nap.

I used to get so hung up on setting myself a goal of when I would post but then get frustrated if I was unable to stick to the commitment. It was a mixture of always feeling I had to overthink what I was going to write about and trying to evenly spread the frequency of the updates; however now I’ve settled on writing when inspiration strikes and getting my thoughts down before the sand timer runs out or my brain turns to mush from sleep deprivation — whichever comes first.

Funnily enough, when you have a young child, even something like being able to successfully finish the book you started 3 months prior is achieving a goal, or even something as minuscule as stealing 15 minutes peace (and mustering up the energy) to fit in a bit of exercise. This may sound silly, especially to those who have never experienced it, but especially when everything is so intense and we have limited places to go and things to do to keep our children entertained and pass the hours in the day, most of the time you feel like a performing monkey, so any small win cannot go unnoticed!

Sometimes I honestly do feel like I try to be all things to everyone, which is an unrealistic pressure that I am guilty of putting entirely on myself. I just strive to be my absolute best self and I can be so critical when I don’t match up to these unfair and unrealistic expectations, especially as a mother.

Alternatively, instead of adding another draining thing to the never ending to-do list, what if we started to adopt the mindset of focusing on excelling at the essential tasks at hand (however we choose to categorise them) and leaving the energy we have left over to focus wholeheartedly on our self-care. Now that’s a to-do list I can get down with!

Everyone’s self-care to-do list will look very different but even if it is something as simple as reading a few chapters of a book each evening, catching up with your favourite TV shows, having an uninterrupted shower or meal or anything (shoutout to all the parents out there lol!), completing a workout, whatever you need!

Don’t spread yourself thin and run yourself ragged because it will just result in a bad case of burn-out, leaving you unable to complete even the most basic of tasks.

If I’ve said this once, I’ll say it a thousand times for the people way in the back 👋🏽; reassess your priorities and make a conscious decision to cut back on any of the things that you tell yourself you need to do that you really can do without and make more time for the things you actually need for the good of your mental and physical health and well-being!

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

Take it easy

It is safe to say that this generation is never short of a cheesy and cliched way of stating the obvious fact that life is too short.

Whatever cheesy form in which it is stated, it is a true and obvious fact that we do only live once. If this is the case, why does it seem as though many of us spend most of our days stressing about the future, and analysing our every action to try and predict and/or sway future outcomes?

The world does not need another Doc Brown and Marty Mcfly duo.

Of course we all have the power to take what we feel are the right actions to steer us in our desired direction. However, nothing is set in stone. No one actually has the power to control what happens in the future…unless…

No..we definitely can’t predict the future and even if we could we all know how trying to change the future usually ended up for Raven…

But all jokes aside…it is not for us to try playing God with our futures. There’s a difference between working hard and hoping for the best possible outcomes, and fixating on how we can make certain that every moment of our lives goes exactly according to plan.

The simple answer to that scenario is that it is truly impossible.

More importantly, think of all of the time we are wasting putting most of our energy into what hasn’t happened yet. What about what is happening in our lives right now? How are we supposed to enjoy it or live for the moment if we are not entirely present?

What we should be spending more of our time taking life easy. Now, that doesn’t mean that we can’t be hard-working whilst doing so, but life should be approached with an equal balance of working hard to achieve our goals but taking it easy enough in life that we are doing this in the most stress-free way possible.

Another important thing is to not compare ourselves to others. Nowadays it is very easy to be consumed by what we see on social media, and how well our friends/people we are following seem to be doing for themselves.

Although it is nice to see others making a success of themselves, at the same time many of us allow this to belittle our own achievements which is the root to all of our stress, as we feel that we must devise a genius ‘get rich and successful overnight plan’…

When in reality we are doing just fine, and there is no shame in taking the time to ensure that we are on the right journey for us. Everyone’s path in life is unique, and although many seem to know all of the cool short cuts, sometimes it is better to go the long way around as you end up stumbling across people and places you would’ve otherwise bypassed. 

Remember…slow and steady wins the race, so it’s okay to take a step back from all of the hard work and determination to relax a little along the way. It’ll all pay off in the end!

Thanks for reading guys.

Vicky ✌ xo