Hey guys 👋🏽,
The last couple of weeks have been somewhat of a chaotic blur! In all honesty, I can’t actually remember everything that has transpired (the Groundhog Day theme continues), but I can say with some certainty that it has mostly consisted of a stream of sleep-deprived nights with a teething toddler also adjusting to ‘British Summer Time’, followed by days of muddling through in a dream-like daze; tapping into what can only be energy reserves deeply rooted within the furthermost corner of my subconscious!
Bearing this in mind, it’s fair to say that I haven’t always felt like writing, or doing much of anything that requires too much strength or concentration. Of course this is outside of the non-negotiable tasks of making sure my Son is fed, watered and thoroughly entertained because God forbid I take a five minute reprieve. Oh, and let’s not forget the general (apparently never-ending) work involved in helping my household to stay afloat.
I have tried finishing this post many times over the last week, to no avail. Partly due to general life getting in the way, as well as the fact that I was suffering with awful (albeit intermittent) migraines from Sunday-Wednesday, so I had to use my rare windows of clarity to push through and get a final draft finished before the next bought kicked in!
Now without further ado, let’s get into it…
On the whole, I pride myself on being the queen of resisting the urge to compare myself to other people. I generally do my best not to compete or measure my self-worth, success or the stage of life I’m at as a comparison to others. Rather, I find it more beneficial to take a look at where I currently am at in my own life, compared with my starting point.
Don’t get me wrong, whilst I can honestly say that this is how I operate a good 90-95% of the time. It is extremely unrealistic for anyone to expect to maintain this mindset 100% of the time!
We all have moments of self-doubt and uncertainty. Whilst we are genuinely happy for the successes of those around us, sometimes we can’t help but feel like we are lagging behind in some way. Even if we are not making a direct comparison; seeing others obtaining and achieving things that we desire can make us grow impatient and intensify the longing we already have to achieve certain goals. In the process it may also cause us to lose sight of our continued progress. It can make us grow restless and as a result the steps we must take to make our dreams become a reality suddenly seem too tedious to bear.
Dawdling down this destructive path can also cause us to lose sight of the stark differences our circumstances may have to the next persons. This only further highlights how irrelevant and unhelpful comparing ourselves is in the first place.
If you follow my blog then you will already be aware that I was made redundant last year due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Prior to this I was on maternity leave for a year. It has been extremely difficult finding a new job due to the current climate, as many people are now out of work and looking for employment wherever they can get it, so it’s been extremely competitive — not to mention the fact that I am now not as flexible as many others as I have a young child to take care of.
Fortunately, I have recently secured a new job role with hours that suit around my partner’s perfectly. I don’t have to be away from my Son too much, but it gives me some semblance of my old normality back and something for myself. Not to mention it provides us with some much-needed financial stability and after many months of feeling stuck in a bit of rut, I finally feel like my life can move forward and I can plan for the future (as much as is currently possible) and adjust to juggling work life and Mum life.
I’m definitely very much a glass half-full kind of gal. So despite feeling like life has been throwing a multitude of set-backs my way over the last year or so, I am definitely one to just keep smiling through it and looking to the bright side regardless, but I am only human and just like everyone else, I do have my down days. Although anyone who knows me well would agree that I am generally very self-assured and focused on my own path, naturally my self-belief had started to waver slightly, wondering: will I ever get a job again? Feeling like I would fall behind my peers with no hope of catching up were some of my fleeting thoughts among other similar themes of self-doubt.
That said, I feel like my new job opportunity has come at the perfect time. It has helped me to snap out of my fallacious funk for a number of reasons and reminded me yet again to trust in the process and keep my mind focused firmly on my own journey. Of course the most immediate reaction was that it offers my family more financial stability, but it also really helped to put things into perspective because in truth; my life is absolutely fantastic!
Like many other people, the last year has been challenging for my little family and left us in a position of uncertainty. Despite this, I always try to remind myself that I have been blessed with so much and still have a great deal to be thankful for.
We all have our gripes and whilst I may not be the richest or most successful person I know, I definitely have something in my life that many people can only ever dream of finding; pure honest-to-goodness happiness!
Thanks for reading guys,
Vicky ✌🏽 xo