Letting yourself win > spreading yourself thin 🙌🏾

Hey guys,

Am I the only one who almost always feels as though there’s just not enough of me to go around?

At the moment, my main priority and job role is raising my son to the best of my ability. As the primary caregiver, a lot of the daily decision-making and responsibilities fall onto my shoulders. From laundry, to mealtimes, constantly researching into new activities to keep him both occupied and educated at the same time, researching into the best methods to tackle any difficult areas surrounding him reaching specific milestones — honestly the list goes on and on and on …. 😫

That, and the never ending list of household chores that need doing! Also, as fulfilling as motherhood can be and how blissfully happy I am with my life, it definitely does not begin and end with being a mother!

Don’t get me wrong at all, I completely adore my son and my partner is an amazing Dad and team player. He is extremely hands on and we work so well together and find strengths in the others’ weaknesses and all that jazz — but he works full-time so he physically can’t be equally as involved in everything that I am. That and he’s so laidback he makes a recliner look uptight!

So, after a hectic day of chasing after a much more adorable but competitively wild version of the Tasmanian devil (the child’s energy just does not cease), I am usually pooped. All I want to do is unwind with a lovely shower and either zone out and catch up with my favourite TV shows, or get stuck into a good book, although the majority of the time I am completely content with being able to switch off and do absolutely nothing when the opportunity presents itself (however fleetingly it may be)!

But wait, there’s still more…

I still have goals and aspirations. In my ‘free time’ (what’s that?), I do my best to keep on top of my blog, which is a lot easier said than done a lot of the time. Take this post for example, I wrote the first draft for this post at the beginning of the month and I’m only now squeezing in time to edit it whilst my son has his nap.

I used to get so hung up on setting myself a goal of when I would post but then get frustrated if I was unable to stick to the commitment. It was a mixture of always feeling I had to overthink what I was going to write about and trying to evenly spread the frequency of the updates; however now I’ve settled on writing when inspiration strikes and getting my thoughts down before the sand timer runs out or my brain turns to mush from sleep deprivation — whichever comes first.

Funnily enough, when you have a young child, even something like being able to successfully finish the book you started 3 months prior is achieving a goal, or even something as minuscule as stealing 15 minutes peace (and mustering up the energy) to fit in a bit of exercise. This may sound silly, especially to those who have never experienced it, but especially when everything is so intense and we have limited places to go and things to do to keep our children entertained and pass the hours in the day, most of the time you feel like a performing monkey, so any small win cannot go unnoticed!

Sometimes I honestly do feel like I try to be all things to everyone, which is an unrealistic pressure that I am guilty of putting entirely on myself. I just strive to be my absolute best self and I can be so critical when I don’t match up to these unfair and unrealistic expectations, especially as a mother.

Alternatively, instead of adding another draining thing to the never ending to-do list, what if we started to adopt the mindset of focusing on excelling at the essential tasks at hand (however we choose to categorise them) and leaving the energy we have left over to focus wholeheartedly on our self-care. Now that’s a to-do list I can get down with!

Everyone’s self-care to-do list will look very different but even if it is something as simple as reading a few chapters of a book each evening, catching up with your favourite TV shows, having an uninterrupted shower or meal or anything (shoutout to all the parents out there lol!), completing a workout, whatever you need!

Don’t spread yourself thin and run yourself ragged because it will just result in a bad case of burn-out, leaving you unable to complete even the most basic of tasks.

If I’ve said this once, I’ll say it a thousand times for the people way in the back 👋🏽; reassess your priorities and make a conscious decision to cut back on any of the things that you tell yourself you need to do that you really can do without and make more time for the things you actually need for the good of your mental and physical health and well-being!

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

The grass isn’t always greener.

Hey guys,

I think we can all agree that 2020 was a very unusual, unpredictable and straight up uncanny year and with so much uncertainty still hanging in the balance, for me it was a no-brainer that I would be giving any New Year’s Resolutions a miss going into 2021.

In fairness, even in an ‘ordinary’ year I’m not really one to commit to resolutions. Personally, I feel it can be a little bit clichéd and excessive to devise a list of tasks to stick stringently to for the next 365 days and then beat myself up if a few months down the line; unforeseen circumstances have meant that I haven’t even started on task number one.

Let’s face it, life is full of unpredictable twists and turns — we can thank 2020 for teaching us that above all else, so I don’t feel that at the beginning of a year that is yet to reveal itself to us, it is very realistic to dedicate myself to things that may become redundant in a few months’ time. But hey, that’s just me.

That said, I do love a new beginning as I feel it symbolises a new chapter and a new opportunity to reassess and reorganise priorities and get my affairs back in order. For example, if there is something specific I’ve been meaning to sort out that has continually been put off, or been pushed to the back of my mind, then for me a new beginning is the perfect opportunity to dust things down and finish what I’ve started (or in some cases actually start something in the first place — eek).

Whilst I do think it’s a tad extra to reel off an exhaustive list of objectives, I am a firm believer in writing lists in general. I find it very useful to write out a list illustrating my intentions on both a major and minor scale. Whether this is in relation to something as simple as a shopping list, or things I would like to get done during an average week — you’ve caught me, I’m a list girl!

A few days ago, during a rare moment when I actually had the time to gather my thoughts (my ‘tiny tearaway’ was out for the night); not for the first time, I was reflecting on all of the things that I have to be grateful for in my life. A beautiful son, a loving partner, great family and friends to name but a few — what a fantastic life I have. That’s when it occurred to me: “wouldn’t it be amazing if I just enjoyed it?”

More often than not, I feel like human instinct causes us to question everything. Many of us struggle to maintain the mindset of simply living in the moment and remaining grateful for the blessings in our lives. We always pine longingly after what we do not have, forever looking on at others with an envious gaze.

What if we stopped doing that?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s essential in life to set ourselves goals and not become too complacent or monotonous, however there is a massive difference between doing this and taking our blessings for granted with the misguided mentality that the grass is always greener.

What if we all stopped worrying about what we don’t yet have or what other people are doing and appreciated how blessed we may already be? Why don’t we all stop fretting over those small and insignificant everyday inconveniences?

Realistically, life isn’t always going to be smooth-sailing and there will undoubtedly be many hiccups along the road. However, many of us need to make more of a conscious effort to regulate our emotions and rather than letting every little thing have the power to negatively impact our mood, ask ourselves “is it really that deep?”

Furthermore, life shouldn’t be lived wishing away today in favour of a better tomorrow because we don’t feel things are where we would like them to be. Before we know it, we will be old and grey looking back wistfully on what could have been an amazing life had we not been too stressed and too blinded by self-deception to fully appreciate it.

If nothing else, in 2021 we should all vow to use the one common lesson learned in 2020: to be more appreciative and mindful of how precious and short life can be.

On that note, I’m coming into 2021 with the intention of being more present in the moment and fully enjoying the amazing life that I have. Of course, I will always strive to better myself, however I will take each day as it comes and won’t write myself off as inadequate if things don’t always go to plan and I will do my best not to dwell over things beyond my control.

Now, who’s with me?

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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The secret to staying happy during a pandemic!

Hey guys!

How is it already September? And what a weird and wacky year it has been so far!

I feel like my ramblings must be starting to have an uncanny likeness to the sounds of a broken record just lately, however; during these unprecedented and uncertain times, my emotions have been up and down like a yo-yo.

I don’t mean to harp on, but I’m pretty confident that trying to live life through a pandemic has stirred up so many different emotions for so many people. In the last few months, I am sadly in amongst the masses of people who have recently faced redundancy. Having previously worked for a small business before going on maternity leave, in the midst of negotiating the terms of my return to work; my employer had to make my role redundant as my position was no longer feasible and unfortunately there were no other suitable roles within the company. So now like probably millions of others, it’s back to the drawing board for me.

On the flip side: whilst my partner’s employer was also reviewing redundancies within his workplace, we found out a few weeks back that he is lucky enough to be getting kept on, which provides us with some financial stability at least, for which we are extremely grateful.

It’s safe to say everyone is going through some sort of struggle at the hands of COVID. Whether they have been directly impacted (in the form of losing a loved one or contracting the virus themselves) or whether it is in a professional or psychological capacity — it’s fair to say that we are all starting to feel the strain in some way or another.

From my perspective; it’s the lack of control over what I am able to do with my life on a daily basis — even on the most basic level that constantly has me teetering on the brink of insanity.

Being forced to spend so much time indoors with a 1-year-old can be so suffocating at times. It’s a lot easier when the weather is cooperating, but if it’s too warm or raining then you’re options are even more limited.

I hate to seem like I am complaining because I can wholeheartedly declare that motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love my son unconditionally and love being a mother. But, whilst it’s great for us to be able to spend so much time together, the current limitations are not parent-friendly.

What do I mean by parent-friendly? Sometimes, I feel like as a parent you’re expected to be able to constantly run on low, or no battery whilst simultaneously maintaining the patience of a saint. It’s like forgetting to plug your phone in when you go to sleep at night and waking up surprised that the battery is now dead. Likewise, as a human-being; if you are unable to recharge your battery and get even the basic level of rest and nourishment required, then you will not be able to function, or only at a very poor level.

Flashback to pre-pandemic/lockdown life – I would be able to go out and do things with my son on a daily basis to keep him active and stimulated and help expel some of his seemingly endless supply of energy. But being stuck indoors a lot more, means that I’m having to constantly think up different ways of keeping him occupied and stimulated. Also factor in the aspect that he is now a lot more active and inquisitive as he is walking and I’m forever exhausted!

Exhaustion is one thing, but then add sleep deprivation to the list as his teething has had him waking in the night again and it’s just a recipe for emotional disaster.

It’s so bittersweet as my son is a complete and utter Mummy’s boy, which is absolutely adorable at times. But he has always been a very clingy and demanding child. Although he is much more independent than he was when he was younger and of course we encourage him to be independent and don’t always give in when he has his tantrums, but he just wants my undivided attention 24/7. I try to rationalise that he is obviously a lot more needy as he’s in a lot of pain and discomfort and he is still very much a baby, but especially in recent weeks, my patience levels have been running on empty and it makes me feel very guilty and at times just plain miserable.

What gets me through times like that is remembering he will not be so young and needy forever. At the moment, I am his entire world and that is such a privilege and a blessing. Once he grows up and gains more independence and understanding that there is more to life, off he’ll go and I will most definitely miss it. However, it’s easy to say that when things have calmed down, but harder to remember when you’ve got someone constantly whinging in your ear, unaware of when you’re having a bad day and in need of some self-care.

But that is the key to maintaining some semblance of our sanity during these abnormal and undependable times. Taking out some much needed time for ourselves. Whatever our woes may be or the testing times we may be facing in our lives. My struggle of late has been the struggle of motherhood during a pandemic, but we are all battling against something.

In addition, I truly believe the key to happiness is a positive mindset. It’s too easy to allow negativity to consume us. For example, if we have had a string of bad days and have not given ourselves some time outside of a gloomy environment to collect our thoughts, realign our minds and open ourselves back up to restoring positive energy and improving our mood, then of course we will continue to feel unhappy.

Lately, if ever l find myself feeling overwhelmed or at the end of my tether, one of the ways that I have been managing my emotions is by keeping a list of positive things I have to be grateful for in life, or things that I like about myself. That way on my toughest days, I have something uplifting to refer back to, to give me the strength to turn things around!

That said, I’m sure I’m not the only person who is trying to get scouted as the newest member of The Avengers and really thinks they can take on the world some days! I cannot stress the importance of always setting aside some time out to allow yourself to relax.

Whether that means taking an hour to have a nice relaxing pamper session, taking some time out to switch off in front of the TV with your favourite snacks and film; getting stuck into a good book, or on a much more simple (but just as effective) level; having some quiet time alone to collect your thoughts — whatever it is that floats your boat and restores your balance.

As lonely as life can often feel, none of us are in this alone. It can be hard to reach out and sometimes it may seem difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but for every bad or challenging day, a great day is guaranteed to be waiting right around the corner! Although there are still limitations to what we can do socially, pick up the phone and reach out to a loved one, make some plans and give yourself something to look forward to!

Most importantly, just allow yourself to be happy!

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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Mum-guilt be gone!

Hey guys! 👋🏽

I’m trying to set myself more realistic timeframes as to when I am able to update my blog. With COVID throwing everyone’s routines out of whack and making daily life so inconsistent, there are days when you feel as though you have so much time and energy on your hands you could take on the world (very few and far between with a Wild Thornberry’s-esque 1-year-old in tow).

However, in stark contrast there are other days when it seems as though you’re constantly running around like a headless chicken, with the day seemingly passing by in the blink of an eye!

So I’ve settled on aiming for a minimum of 1 new update a month.

I’ve also decided to make my blog posts more relevant to my day-to-day life as I muddle my way through the most amazing and equally mind-boggling journey I’ve been on to date — Motherhood!

I’ve had a hectic few weeks as it was my beautiful baby boy’s first birthday! We put some decorations up in the garden and had a small gathering with immediate family to mark the occasion. Myself and my partner both agreed to keep things more low-key for Sire’s (our sons) early years, as although we definitely wanted to do something; we also kept in mind that at this age everything is much more for us than him and if we start off too big, then we have to maintain the same energy year after year.

Sire lived up to his namesake as he would accept nothing less than the royal treatment, loving every moment of having all eyes and attention focused on him. As young as he is you could see from the light in his big, beautiful, brown eyes that he couldn’t wait to get his hands on all of his new toys and that if nothing else; he revelled in the fact that the day was all about him.

Factor in the minor detail that Sire and his Dad are born just a day apart and it’s safe to say time has flown by these last few weeks, as the days have merged into one big blur of joyful celebration.

That brings me onto just one of the many beauties of Motherhood – there are so many firsts! First foods, first words, first steps and first birthdays. In our case all of which happened in that exact order. I don’t know if babies have a secret sixth sense that we adults aren’t privy to, but with my son, it’s almost as if he knows when he is turning a new age.

Within days of turning 6-months-old, practically out of nowhere he decided he was going to start crawling and off he went scuttling about the place like a little crab.

Fast forward to literally less than a week before his first birthday and he started running (I kid you not) across the room! In fairness, he had already started taking three wobbly steps on and off for a week prior, but he cranked things up a notch by turning into the literal embodiment of running before you can walk.

It’s such a bittersweet feeling having a 1-year-old. On one hand, I feel an overwhelming surge of pride at how beautifully my son is developing and also want to give myself and my partner a pat on the back for reaching this milestone along with him, as I reflect on how much our confidence and competence as parents has come along.

On the other hand, I want to bottle up my current feeling of blissful contentedness so that I can always remember the happiness I feel now; when Sire inevitably grows up and has to be exposed to the various different hardships and challenges of reality and I can no longer keep him protected within our little bubble.

Of course, there are many, many (MANY!) years before we have to worry about any of that, but this definitely feels like possibly the biggest milestone in my Motherhood journey so far. So naturally it’s left me feeling very reflective.

It’s made me realise that whilst Sire will forever be my baby, he isn’t actually going to be a baby forever. Which is a massive reminder of the invaluableness of each and every moment we have together right now. Probably the most important nugget of wisdom I can impart to another mother or any parent is: don’t worry about what anyone else thinks! (Of course that does not apply to your partner or your child’s other parent if you are co-parenting), but everyone else need to be swiftly placed on mute.

What we have to bear in mind is that there are so many people around us who love us and just want the best for us and our children. However, this does not always translate well and on the surface it can often come across as undermining and patronising and feels like a constant barrage of endless unsolicited advice and ill-informed judgement.

Whether it’s people comparing you to other parents they know, to what they did when they had their children, or to what healthcare professionals are currently recommending…

…in the end, you’re always left feeling unfairly judged and trying desperately to stay afloat in the murky waters of self-doubt. Just as your defences come down, in swoops the villainous viper, also known as Mum-guilt! It’s so easy to get caught up and find yourself questioning your judgement and doubting whether or not you’re making the right decisions, if you’re doing the right thing by your child, or on a more basic level, if you are doing a good job!

But remember: nobody knows what’s best for your child more than you do (and your partner (if applicable). Go with your gut, trust your judgment and most importantly, always maintain regular communication. Tough decisions are never going to be easy, but as long as you continue to talk things out and are willing to compromise and ultimately do what’s best for your family circumstances, then you can’t go wrong.

Above all else, never compare yourself or your child to someone else. Don’t ruin your Motherhood experience by getting caught up in when your child hits their milestones versus another child — this mentality can be very damaging and overshadow all of the great things your child is doing on an daily basis. Understandably, it can prove quite difficult if you spend a lot of time around other children who are a similar age to yours; and equally it can feel like dodging grenades in a war zone when filtering through the seemingly endless social media accounts run by pushy parents who live to show off their ‘golden child’ for all of the world to see. But try to block all of that out and remember that your child will do things in their own time, when they are good and ready!

Everybody’s circumstances are different and more importantly every child is unique. Just like the rest of us, children have their own personalities and preferences. They know full-well what they like and dislike, so what works for one child isn’t necessarily going to work for the next.

It’s like apples and oranges, to even compare the two is pointless as they are completely different. Likewise people’s parenting styles can differ dramatically and whilst some people choose to raise their child ‘by the book’ following all guidelines and recommendations, others prefer to do things their own way. As long as the best interests of your child is what’s driving your decision making, then there should be no judgement, as outsiders don’t know the reasoning behind the choices others make.

What all parents should be focused on is prioritising their families needs above all else, maintaining a healthy family dynamic and doing whatever is necessary to ensure their bundle of joy remains happy and healthy.

As long as we are all doing our very best then that’s all that matters. We shouldn’t allow fear of being judged or Mum-guilt to prevent us from relishing in every moment of this unrivalled and invaluable journey we have been so blessed to be able to experience.

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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Reflect and realign.

Hey guys!

I’m really trying to maintain this regular blog updating life, so before I end up falling back into my old habit of ‘not finding the time’ (although a truly legitimate claim), I thought I would make the time.

Honestly, unless you’ve had children yourself, you will never truly understand just how rushed off of your feet a 10 month old baby can have you — especially during a pandemic, with limited ways to break up your day, but we make the time for the things we love and we move 👏🏾.

Understandably, so far, the lockdown life has had its fair share of ups and downs for us all! As with anything in life, if we are being realistic, then highs and lows are inevitable. We have all been forced outside of our respective comfort zones in one way or another and our current day-to-day is likely to be looking very different to what we were previously accustomed to.

Some of us have been following government guidelines to the letter, some of us may have altered them slightly to better suit our circumstances, and some people are in full-blown gangsters paradise mode and have decided not only to do their own thing, but that it’s only right to keep all of their social media platforms updated with a play-by-play of their every treacherous move 👀.

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Regardless of which of the above categories relates to you and your circumstances, I think it’s fair to say that everyone’s mental health has been through somewhat of beating – ranging from feeling like we’ve just been shoved about a bit, to some of us now feeling as though we’ve been through 12 rounds with Tyson Fury!

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On the plus side, things seem to be starting to slowly move forward. I don’t want to use the term ‘back to normal’ as I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s of the mindset that normality as we know it, is no more.

It has been announced that non-essential shops are due to start reopening in the next few weeks. Also, Boris Johnson has announced that from Monday we can meet in groups of up to 6 people from different households, in outdoor settings, including private gardens (woop woop!). There have even been whispers of the phased re-opening of pub gardens in the coming weeks (oo-er).

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At least that gives us all something to look forward to. Especially for those of us who have actually been keeping our distance (no shade), but we more than most, are dying to make contact with our wider social circle and remind ourselves that people do exist outside of our own four walls; and not just the people we see moving shiftily an additional 5 metres (on top of the recommended 2 metres); away from us in the park, or on our weekly trip to the supermarket for essentials 🙄😂.

On another note, one thing that has not sat well with me during this time, are the multitude of memes/quotes floating around with words to a similar effect to:

Whoever checked in on you during lockdown makes you realise who your real friends are, those who didn’t obviously don’t care.’

Various people across social media

I definitely do not agree with this sentiment. Covid-19 has turned everybody’s lives upside down and inside out, all at the same time. Nobody has known whether they are coming or going during recent months.

It is completely unfair to project our feelings of insecurity and uncertainty onto others, and either imply or assume that it is someone else’s job (from an entirely different household from you at that), to constantly check up on you to ensure that you are okay.

Don’t get me wrong, this is definitely not to say that we shouldn’t touch base with loved ones when we can. But there seems to be a common assumption amongst certain people (hopefully a minority) that they are owed special attention.

In addition, there is also the misconception that everybody is on the same page. Not to harp on with the Mum card, but I can only speak for my own circumstances. For me, despite having a great ethic of teamwork within my household and an extremely supportive partner, our days are very much occupied with our beautiful son. Therefore, flippant comments such as, ‘well since you have all of this free time now’ and ‘I’m sure you can find the time to do x, y and z’, don’t apply to us.

For parents, especially of younger children, reality is making it through each day and stealing the odd sacred moment to yourself, then being so knackered by the time your child goes to bed that there is only a limited time before you are forced do the same!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and lockdown for me, despite the general ups and downs we’ve all been facing, it’s been great spending time with my little family. Getting back to my original point; although I make a conscious effort to find the time to check in with friends and family and vice versa, none of us are obligated to do so.

We are all just getting by the best that we can, and just as before the Coronavirus pandemic, our daily lives all look very different. None of us truly know the impact the lockdown has had on others, so it’s not fair or productive to sit and stew in negative energy assuming that people have not reached out because they don’t care. Plus as always, maintaining relationships works both ways and for the friendships built on a strong foundation, we should know it’s all love without the need to be constantly reminded.

It’s so easy for us all to get inside of our own heads, but sometimes it’s worth taking a step back and having a breather – usually everything begins to look a lot brighter.

Thanks for reading guys.

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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Always keep it 100!

There is no secret recipe for eternal happiness, and whilst we are encouraged to try endless techniques that are said to improve our mindset and lift our mood — we have to be realistic and take every day as it comes. Sometimes if we’re not feeling it, it’s literally as simple as that!

On a serious note, last week was a really tough week for me emotionally. My emotions were all over the place, ranging from: uncertainty; frustration and loneliness to anger that I was even feeling any of those things in the first place — because I should have been ‘strong’ enough’ to maintain a positive mindset.

However, in reality, life is unpredictable and nothing is promised, including the way we may be feeling from one day to the next.

We are always told to ‘think positive’ and that we are the masters of the energy we emit versus the energy we attract. Although, this is largely true, above all else, we owe it to ourselves to be true to how we are feeling at any given moment in time.

If we’re not feeling great, then we shouldn’t feel pressured to fake it. It is healthier to express our emotions, than to repress them and pretend like everything is fine when it’s not.

Sometimes all we need is a little help from our friends. So, instead of trying to take on the world and breaking our backs attempting to carry it’s weight around on our shoulders – what if we swallow our pride and let go of the stigma that showing emotions makes us weak?

We should stop putting pressure on ourselves to maintain the illusion that we are happy all day every day, and whenever we’re not feeling good, we should have no qualms about reaching out to somebody we love and trust, to talk it all out.

Especially during times where we are at a physical distance, it’s so important for our mental health that we remain vocal and open about how we’re feeling, and most importantly: STAY CONNECTED!

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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What do you miss most?

Whilst life under lockdown definitely continues to ‘go on’, I think we can all agree that it certainly comes with its restrictions.

Although, I am the firmest believer that it’s all in the mindset and of course we must remain positive, I can’t be the only person reminiscing longingly of the life that once was.

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By no means, does this make us bad people – it is simply human nature. Plus, there is a massive difference between dwelling on things that we are unable to change and sparing a few moments to reflect and appreciate the life that awaits us once we are able to click the resume button.

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Also, isn’t it bizarre how we’d now give our right arm to be able to indulge in once thought of as mundane everyday things? Even something as simple as waltzing in and out of the supermarket at our own leisure suddenly seems like a godsend.

However, this doesn’t mean our ingratitude was a conscious thing. Surely no one sets out to be ungrateful, right? But as they say: ‘you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’.

With that said, what is it that you miss the most? If there was one thing you were previously able to do freely and without question and you were given the opportunity to do it right now, what would it be?

Furthermore, what is the one thing that you can’t wait to do once life adjusts back to normality (in whatever form this may now come). Let’s face it, regardless of our current circumstances. one thing most, if not all, of us have is a lot of time on our hands.

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Let’s all set aside some of that time today and let our imaginations run wild — the possibilities are endless.

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Stay sane guys!

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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7 sanity-saving tips to help you survive life under lockdown!

Guess who’s back, back, back 👀…

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It’s insane how much time has passed since I was last in a position where I felt that I had the time or headspace, to put pen to paper (or more accurately — fingers to keyboard) and engage in one of my favourite activities: blogging!

Between finding out I was pregnant 🤰🏽, working full-time and bringing my beautiful baby boy 🤱🏽 into this world; for over a year, it’s been go, go, go! – with very little time for hobbies or self-indulgence. It’s typical that it would take something as drastic as a pandemic and subsequent global lockdown 😱, for me to finally treat myself to some much-needed me-time!

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Speaking of lockdown…

COVID-19 has left us all feeling a mixture of fear, frustration, uncertainty and confusion.

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Regardless of your personal or professional circumstances, whether that means working from home, or generally spending more time at home than you’d usually like, it’s safe to say that social distancing / life under lockdown has left us all in a state of disorientation.

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A problem shared is a problem halved right? So seeing as we are all in the same boat, I thought I would do my bit by sharing what I’ve found to be some of the top tips for staying sane under house arrest.

1. Get out of the house as much as you can

Whilst restrictions have been put into place to reduce the spread of the virus, we are still entitled to 1 hour of exercise a day.

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Whether or not you are into your fitness, even a slow stroll around your local park or even the block at this point, will do us all the world of good, and play a major part in stopping us from going stir crazy!

2. Don’t play into all of the politics – and resist the urge to spread fake news

From fear-mongering headlines being flung about on social media with unconfirmed statistics of deaths allegedly connected to an influx of COVID-19 cases, to the resurface of viral videos from years ago, with no confirmed sources or legitimate links to COVID-19 – is it any wonder that the world has gone mad?!

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On the other hand, if we all take a step back to think about what we are doing before mindlessly aiding the spread of ‘fake news’ we can only hope that this would slow the spread of panic, particularly amongst older relatives who have had it drilled into their minds that they will die if they step foot outside of their homes.

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3. Try to maintain some semblance of normality – implement a loose routine

Of course, these are trying times for us all. Particularly if you are unable to work from home and essentially have no specific timeframes to work to. Each day can tend to blur into the next with no clear start or finish.

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Solution: set yourself some tasks/goals to try and complete throughout the day, at a specific time each day. Whether it’s something as mundane as housework/chores, setting some specific time aside to spend doing a particular hobby, going for a run/walk or venturing out to the supermarket for some essentials.

4. Enjoy the extra family-time you may now have

As mother to a 9 month old, I’ve found it difficult to go from what once was a full weekly schedule of baby groups, classes and play dates to keep us entertained, to now being responsible for providing my son with ‘entertainment’ as well as positively aiding his development throughout the day.

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On the bright side, it has encouraged me to acknowledge the fact that appreciating each other’s company and just spending one-on-one time together playing, reciting nursery rhymes, reading, going for walks and simply sharing the love, is more than enough for a growing baby — everything else is just an added extra; not a necessity.

That goes for people isolating with family in whatever form it may be for them. After all, this is more time than many of us ever get the chance to spend together, and as much as times are uncertain at the moment, and it is a shame to not be able to see everyone we care for — we should be thankful for this time that we have been granted.

5. Keep in touch with loved ones

Despite current restrictions, thanks to modern technology, we are not required to be in the presence of others to keep up the communication. Above all else, it’s important that we do not allow this lockdown to prevent us from staying in touch and reaching out to let our loved ones know we are here to lend an ear and just to keep things as normal as possible. We live in the age of social media, where people are more likely to pick up the phone, video call or text a person as opposed to seeing them in the flesh most of the time anyway. Let’s worry about changing the habit of a lifetime later and focus on staying connected for now.

6. Always try to look on the bright side

If you are lucky enough to have the facility to work from home, first of all; be grateful. There are so many people who currently face uncertainty as to whether they will have a job to return to following all of this madness, and also spare a thought for all of the key workers still standing on the frontlines. Ultimately, many of us still have our good health and a roof over heads – so for that alone we should all be grateful.

7. Make sure to find time for yourself

Regardless of the impact life under lockdown may have on your daily routine (or lack thereof 👀), ALWAYS ensure that you set aside ample time especially for you. Whether it’s a mere half an hour to yourself just to collect your thoughts, completing a workout, reading a book, binge-watching a box set – whatever it is that floats your boat and brings you happiness in these uncertain times.

Thanks for reading guys

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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R E S P E C T: is it truly a two way street?

A lexicographer would define the meaning of respect as: ‘due regard for feelings, wishes, or rights of others.’ Whilst many of us believe respect should work both ways i.e. ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ — can we honestly say that we feel others hold true regard for our feelings and wishes, on the same level that we do for them?

At times it seems as though people only have consideration for themselves. To an extent, we can all be guilty of getting swept away in the ups and downs of the whirlwind that is life, but there comes a time when we must realise that some people simply exist solely for the drama!

These people are so ignorantly blissful basking in the waters of their self-absorption, they appear unable to comprehend that the world was intended to inhabit billions of other people, as opposed to just them and their humungous ego.

Many of us spend our lives striving to be a good friend, sibling, partner and all-round good person. Although we may not necessarily believe in karma, it only makes sense that if we treat others with kindness and respect then that treatment should be returned to us like a boomerang.

Expectation:

Reality:

We should now be at the stage in life where we only have room for solid and lasting relationships with clear co-ordinates indicating exactly where we stand, and be on a level playing field with the other person/people involved.

Gone are the days of feeling as if we have to treat every conversation we have like another riddle to crack — wondering if there was a hidden meaning behind each and every word uttered by the other person.

Life is way too short to be second guessing ourselves and taking on other people’s constant dramas and issues as our own. Of course, there is a major difference between supporting a friend in times of need and enabling someone who clearly has no regard for our feelings, wishes and rights, to fall deeper into their narcissistic hole of self-obsession.

Put simply, respect is most definitely a two-way street and if we have the consideration to take other people’s feelings and wishes into account, then there is absolutely no reason as to why they cannot take time out of their ‘busy’ schedules to show us the same kindness. As life goes on, we are all busy and generally have less free-time on our hands, but for those we truly care about we will always be able to make time. Successful relationships (whether romantic or platonic) take equal contributions from both parties in order to stand the test of time.

Of course we do not give with the intention of receiving, but then again we have every right to expect to get out what we put in, especially when it comes to people. Being continually overlooked and having our thoughts and feelings disregarded impacts on our self-esteem and how we view ourselves.

Negativity can spread like wildfire, so its best to surround ourselves with positive people who want nothing more than to see us succeed, as we do the same for them.

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky xo

Take it easy

It is safe to say that this generation is never short of a cheesy and cliched way of stating the obvious fact that life is too short.

Whatever cheesy form in which it is stated, it is a true and obvious fact that we do only live once. If this is the case, why does it seem as though many of us spend most of our days stressing about the future, and analysing our every action to try and predict and/or sway future outcomes?

The world does not need another Doc Brown and Marty Mcfly duo.

Of course we all have the power to take what we feel are the right actions to steer us in our desired direction. However, nothing is set in stone. No one actually has the power to control what happens in the future…unless…

No..we definitely can’t predict the future and even if we could we all know how trying to change the future usually ended up for Raven…

But all jokes aside…it is not for us to try playing God with our futures. There’s a difference between working hard and hoping for the best possible outcomes, and fixating on how we can make certain that every moment of our lives goes exactly according to plan.

The simple answer to that scenario is that it is truly impossible.

More importantly, think of all of the time we are wasting putting most of our energy into what hasn’t happened yet. What about what is happening in our lives right now? How are we supposed to enjoy it or live for the moment if we are not entirely present?

What we should be spending more of our time taking life easy. Now, that doesn’t mean that we can’t be hard-working whilst doing so, but life should be approached with an equal balance of working hard to achieve our goals but taking it easy enough in life that we are doing this in the most stress-free way possible.

Another important thing is to not compare ourselves to others. Nowadays it is very easy to be consumed by what we see on social media, and how well our friends/people we are following seem to be doing for themselves.

Although it is nice to see others making a success of themselves, at the same time many of us allow this to belittle our own achievements which is the root to all of our stress, as we feel that we must devise a genius ‘get rich and successful overnight plan’…

When in reality we are doing just fine, and there is no shame in taking the time to ensure that we are on the right journey for us. Everyone’s path in life is unique, and although many seem to know all of the cool short cuts, sometimes it is better to go the long way around as you end up stumbling across people and places you would’ve otherwise bypassed. 

Remember…slow and steady wins the race, so it’s okay to take a step back from all of the hard work and determination to relax a little along the way. It’ll all pay off in the end!

Thanks for reading guys.

Vicky ✌ xo