New year, new attitude.

Happy new year everyone!

Suffice to say I’ve completely fallen off of the bandwagon in terms of sticking to my plan regarding more frequent updates, but to say 2021 was a whirlwind would literally be the understatement of the year.

Whilst I’m not one to go down the ‘woe is me’ route as I’m well aware that especially over the last 3 years, life hasn’t been easy for any of us and of course everything is relative. That said, we all have varying priorities and definitions of hardship and sadly my writing took the brunt of it towards the end of 2021.

On the plus side, I’ve been blessed to see it through to another year and if you’re reading this then so have you. That in itself is a massive achievement so let’s give ourselves the pat on the back that we all deserve, we’ve earned it after all!

It’s never really been my style to make an unreasonably and unrealistically long list of resolutions and hold myself dead to rights if I begin to falter before January’s even over. I have images of beating myself up over what a terrible person I am because I dared to eat a square of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk, when I promised myself I’d go on a 30-day detox to cleanse my body ready for the new year – because healthy body, healthy mind, right? Only in this scenario I’ve already failed at the ‘new and improved’ version of myself I was aiming for, all in the name of indulging in a taste of chocolatey goodness — curse you cravings!

Catch my drift?

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a criticism or jibe at people who set themselves what they feel to be achievable and realistic goals for the year ahead, even if the list is what some would consider to be extensive there is nothing at all wrong with being ambitious. Applying pressure is sometimes necessary to push ourselves in the right direction, however it’s good to know your limits as there is a fine line between pushing yourself to achieve and pushing your well-being over the cliff’s edge.

Some people may argue that nothing actually changes as we go from one year to the next and although I understand that this statement is literally true (Molly-Mae eat your heart out), for me it’s a matter of mentality. Much like the beginning of a new day, week or month; a new year symbolises a new beginning. That’s not to say I feel that the entirety of my previous 28 years on this earth are now null and void, but it’s as good a time as any to get my affairs in order.

At the turn of the new year, any areas in which I may have been procrastinating up until this point can once again take priority as I drag things from whichever particular piece of woodwork they’ve been lurking under, dust them off and get back at it. That’s doesn’t mean I’ve been lazy or not focused on a certain thing deliberately or out of choice and it’s definitely not to say that I can now go from putting something off and flip a switch where I’m now able to focus on it 24/7.

However, what it does mean is that my focus has now shifted. Sometimes the deeper you bury something the harder it can be to dig it out from where you’ve left it, so realigning your focus can make the world of difference. Identifying what it is you are trying to achieve, what serves as a priority (around your essential and at times mundane daily duties), ask yourself what your end goal(s) are and put in place a plan of action of the steps you intend to take to make things happen.

I’m not ashamed to admit that throughout this pandemic navigating my career aspirations alongside being a first-time mother has felt extremely overwhelming. These factors on top of the many curveballs we’ve all been trying our best to dodge, has left me clawing my way out of a rut on numerous occasions. but you know what? That’s perfectly fine.

At this point we are all clueless as to what’s going to be thrown at us from one day to the next, so how are we supposed to maintain enthusiasm about the distant future when the here and now has been so unpredictable. You know what that makes us? Human beings.

So this year, above all else I’m going to make sure that I’m a lot kinder to myself and instead of blaming myself for everything that doesn’t go ‘according to plan’, I’m going to do more of what makes me happy. Despite not being able to eject ourselves from the rollercoaster ride which has become life as we know it, there are many things we do still have control over and there is truly no tool more powerful than the mind.

I may not be coming into the new year as a new and improved version of me, but I’m kicking things off by reminding myself that the person I already am is pretty amazing and I can be whoever I want to be as long as I believe in myself and dare to dream!

What (if anything) does the New Year symbolise for you?

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

The grass isn’t always greener.

Hey guys,

I think we can all agree that 2020 was a very unusual, unpredictable and straight up uncanny year and with so much uncertainty still hanging in the balance, for me it was a no-brainer that I would be giving any New Year’s Resolutions a miss going into 2021.

In fairness, even in an ‘ordinary’ year I’m not really one to commit to resolutions. Personally, I feel it can be a little bit clichéd and excessive to devise a list of tasks to stick stringently to for the next 365 days and then beat myself up if a few months down the line; unforeseen circumstances have meant that I haven’t even started on task number one.

Let’s face it, life is full of unpredictable twists and turns — we can thank 2020 for teaching us that above all else, so I don’t feel that at the beginning of a year that is yet to reveal itself to us, it is very realistic to dedicate myself to things that may become redundant in a few months’ time. But hey, that’s just me.

That said, I do love a new beginning as I feel it symbolises a new chapter and a new opportunity to reassess and reorganise priorities and get my affairs back in order. For example, if there is something specific I’ve been meaning to sort out that has continually been put off, or been pushed to the back of my mind, then for me a new beginning is the perfect opportunity to dust things down and finish what I’ve started (or in some cases actually start something in the first place — eek).

Whilst I do think it’s a tad extra to reel off an exhaustive list of objectives, I am a firm believer in writing lists in general. I find it very useful to write out a list illustrating my intentions on both a major and minor scale. Whether this is in relation to something as simple as a shopping list, or things I would like to get done during an average week — you’ve caught me, I’m a list girl!

A few days ago, during a rare moment when I actually had the time to gather my thoughts (my ‘tiny tearaway’ was out for the night); not for the first time, I was reflecting on all of the things that I have to be grateful for in my life. A beautiful son, a loving partner, great family and friends to name but a few — what a fantastic life I have. That’s when it occurred to me: “wouldn’t it be amazing if I just enjoyed it?”

More often than not, I feel like human instinct causes us to question everything. Many of us struggle to maintain the mindset of simply living in the moment and remaining grateful for the blessings in our lives. We always pine longingly after what we do not have, forever looking on at others with an envious gaze.

What if we stopped doing that?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s essential in life to set ourselves goals and not become too complacent or monotonous, however there is a massive difference between doing this and taking our blessings for granted with the misguided mentality that the grass is always greener.

What if we all stopped worrying about what we don’t yet have or what other people are doing and appreciated how blessed we may already be? Why don’t we all stop fretting over those small and insignificant everyday inconveniences?

Realistically, life isn’t always going to be smooth-sailing and there will undoubtedly be many hiccups along the road. However, many of us need to make more of a conscious effort to regulate our emotions and rather than letting every little thing have the power to negatively impact our mood, ask ourselves “is it really that deep?”

Furthermore, life shouldn’t be lived wishing away today in favour of a better tomorrow because we don’t feel things are where we would like them to be. Before we know it, we will be old and grey looking back wistfully on what could have been an amazing life had we not been too stressed and too blinded by self-deception to fully appreciate it.

If nothing else, in 2021 we should all vow to use the one common lesson learned in 2020: to be more appreciative and mindful of how precious and short life can be.

On that note, I’m coming into 2021 with the intention of being more present in the moment and fully enjoying the amazing life that I have. Of course, I will always strive to better myself, however I will take each day as it comes and won’t write myself off as inadequate if things don’t always go to plan and I will do my best not to dwell over things beyond my control.

Now, who’s with me?

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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Push through with positivity and gratitude!

Hey guys,

For me this week has been anything but easygoing! I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as a bad week, but it definitely hasn’t been fun. With a teething and under the weather 16 month old on my hands — think tantrums, mood swings and sleepless nights!

Of course, I know it’s all part and parcel of parenthood. However, it can be particularly irritating when parentless friends and relatives coo and gush over how ‘cute’ your little bundle of joy is, feeling so sorry for your child on the rare occasion they’re left to have their little temper tantrum because having pandered to said child’s every need/want all day up until that point, with little reward there’s nothing else to do at this point.

Especially if we wish to cling to even a shred of our sanity. Besides, a little self soothing never hurt anybody. Plus, little do these child-free sympathisers know the various physical and emotional assaults we parents face on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis. It’s not heartlessness we promise, just an inbuilt resilience to protect us from their tricks, you’ll thank us later when they’ve grown up notably less cute and we haven’t raised a hoard of spoilt and sickly, master-manipulators.

Can you tell I’ve had a rocky week? 😂

Moving back onto my original purpose for posting, as the year draws to a close it naturally causes people to begin to reflect. It goes without saying that 2020 has been a hellish year for us all and a massive adjustment from the way of living we are all used to. Not to mention how we’ve been pulled from pillar to post and left bewildered as to whether we are coming or going!

Likewise, with Christmas in tasting distance (nom nom nom) and the way in which many of us will be ‘celebrating the festivities’ this year in stark contrast to previous years; it is completely understandable that most, if not all of us will be feeling sad, weary and down in the dumps (who remembers that classic hymn from primary school? #ifyouknowyouknow 👀).

All jokes aside, it is very easy to welcome the negative thoughts trying to sneak slyly into our minds with open arms as we admit defeat, as for many of us in the UK our government cancelling Christmas was the straw that broke the camels back!

But how about this? Let’s consider the fact that we are not actually camels. Furthermore, unlike the camel in the analogy used above most of our backs are not broken and are in full functioning order. So how about instead of wallowing and declaring we have “nothing left to live for” or something equally dramatic, we show some gratitude? Maybe even get up and do a little dance (optional) and reflect on everything that many of us still have to be positive about and thankful for.

Many of us still have: a place to call home, a loving family and friends, food on the table, love in our lives and in our hearts and really what else actually matters?

During the more challenging moments I have faced this week with my son being unwell, I’ve found myself throwing a little pity party of one because my partner wasn’t able to get any time off before Christmas so I haven’t had much of a break most days. But then I had to get myself in check and remind myself that especially during the current climate, we are lucky he still has a job at all.

My point is, it’s so easy for us to get caught up in our daily ‘trials and tribulations’ and convince ourselves that we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. Of course, this doesn’t make us terrible or even ungrateful people because we are only human and everyone’s threshold and difficulty levels will be different. But it’s worth considering that nobody’s lives are perfect and we all have things we wish we didn’t have to deal with or things we would like to change. Obviously it’s much easier said than done when we are faced with challenging situations.

However, if this year has made me realise anything it’s that I have a lot of things to be grateful for and although I really cringe at the saying; there are many people a lot worse off than I am, so we all have to keep pushing through!

What are you most grateful for?

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

Lockdown 2.0 – say it ain’t so!

Hey guys,

I’ve been trying to put finger to keyboard to come up with something inspirational to say for weeks now, but understandably I’ve been feeling rather uninspired. My wavering motivation to write has been so terrible, I’ve literally been sitting on this blog post for almost a month now — 😧!

Surely I’m not alone in my view that lockdown 2.0 was inevitable. What did anybody expect to happen with the government pulling us this way and that, enticing everyone outside with ‘Eat Out to Help Out’ deals and reopening non-essential shops, although this second coming of the lockdown life was purported to be ‘inescapable’ from before the first lockdown had even come to an end?

Putting all of that to one side, regardless as to whether we did or did not see this coming, or our conspiracy theories on what we believe is going on behind the scenes — it is what it is.

How long can we reasonably be expected to “stay strong” and “remain positive” when no matter what some of us do to try and push forward, it’s like anchors have been attached to both of our feet and we’re doomed to sink despite our best efforts of trying to stay afloat in amongst all of this mayhem?!

It’s safe to say that we are all starting to feel a bit mad at this point and really, who can blame us? This is insanity. Also I don’t know about you but I’m not liking the catchphrase now being coined: ‘the new normal’…

No matter what becomes of the world as we know it, or what further restrictions (if possible) they decide to impose, you will never catch me accepting this stifling and oppressive way of living as ‘normal’. Many adjectives spring to mind when I think of the current lifestyle we have all been forced to adopt, normal is definitely not one of them!

Of course, I am not deliberately trying to be pessimistic as that is never my intention and definitely not in relation to my blog posts, but in all honesty, lately I’ve been feeling like I’m running out of steam!

That said, I’m forever trying to be mindful and count my blessings and acknowledge all of the good things that I do still have in my life, despite restrictions being put on my freedom, but it’s got to the point now where something’s got to give!

The most frustrating part is, of course I don’t want to give into the negative thoughts we’re undoubtedly all battling with and I would always choose positivity and optimism above everything else, but when you are faced with down days; it’s very difficult to want to talk to other people about how you’re feeling because although we are all living through a pandemic, life still looks very different from one person to the next.

What I mean is, some people are back on furlough; some people have been made redundant; some people are still going into their place of work on a daily basis; some people are working from home. Furthermore, some people live at home with their parents, some people have children, some people live alone – the list could go on and on but by now you catch my drift.

With this in mind, if Sandra and Steve are two friends, but Steve has been made redundant and Steve now hates having to work from home, he’s hardly going to have a moan to a now jobless Sandra and rub salt into her wounds!

Of course, there’s no denying that these are unprecedented times for us all, but what’s even more difficult is how differently we have each been impacted, which in turn makes it hard to know where best to turn for moral support.

However, one thing that has helped me to stay focused on what’s important, is blocking out all of the white noise. Now more than ever, many of us may find ourselves leaning on social media as a form of escapism from the monotony we are now faced with. As a result, we are getting sidetracked with what others are doing, how much they claim to be ‘thriving’ and also how unaffected they supposedly are as a result of lockdown after lockdown.

Regardless of whether what we are seeing is true or false, it is very damaging for us to focus our energy longing to follow in the footsteps of others. It is important to stay grounded in our own realities, to not compare ourselves to other people whose situations are completely different to our own, and to not diminish our own sense of self-worth or allow our self-belief to waver because we aren’t currently able to feel at our best due to circumstances beyond our control.

On the plus side, for residents of the UK, it has now been announced that some restrictions will be lifted during the festive period (from December 23rd-27th), to allow 3 households to form a ‘bubble’ together (excluding in public places). So at least there is hope of being able to spend some quality time with loved ones for a while and having some semblance of a ‘normal’ Christmas celebration!

Lord knows it is much-needed after the year we’ve all had!

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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What are your priorities?

Until I am a Mum myself, I will never understand how Mum’s fit everything in because I barely have time for myself now.

A Friend

Hey guys 👋🏽

I was speaking with a friend the other day and we were both reflecting on how quickly the days seem to pass us by and how it feels as though there’s just not enough time in any given day to accomplish everything we feel we ‘need to do’, which led my friend to make the above statement.

Honestly, I used to have the same mindset. Before becoming a parent, from the age of 21 I was in full-time employment, working Monday to Friday. During the week, I was almost always too burnt out to do much outside of work. Obviously I did the essentials around the house but always liked to keep it chilled on weekdays, with the odd ‘dinner with the girls’ as the exception.

This meant that I would try to cram any lengthy tasks or extravagant excursions into 2 days — the weekend! It’s safe to say that this was a recipe for disaster as I’d often be getting my stuff ready for work on a Sunday night feeling run ragged and like I hadn’t given myself any time to rest. I’m all for making the most of the one life we have but the feelings of pure regret truly did begin to creep in come stupid-o’-clock on Monday morning when the mocking chime of my alarm began to sound. “Whyyyyy?!”

How funny it is now to look back on those times and think about how much energy I actually had. I would always complain of feeling tired back in those days, but it’s laughable to me now — I didn’t even know the meaning of the word.

I was getting regular periods of uninterrupted sleep for starters. In fairness I did work full-time which should not be underestimated at all as this can be extremely draining especially depending on the occupation, however once the clock struck 5pm; the world was mine for the taking! My time was entirely my own to pick and choose what I did, or did not do with it.

Becoming a Mum has already taught me so much, but one of life’s most important lessons motherhood has taught me is the true value of time! My timekeeping skills used to be diabolical at one stage. To say I had no concept of time would be a tad harsh, however the concept of time that I did have was very poor and inconsistent. It’s not that I didn’t care about being on time, time just always ran away with me and I’d never start getting ready early enough, or wait too long to set out. Now I realise my problem was that contrary to my beliefs at this stage in my life, I clearly had far too much time on my hands and time to waste at that!

Now that I have a whole extra human being to take care of and whose needs I put above my own instinctively, unquestioningly and without hesitation, time is truly of the essence. The whole concept of time and especially free time has taken on a whole new meaning. There is no option to leisurely take all of the time in the world getting ready if I have somewhere to be. It’s a case of carefully planning ahead of time (yet still feeling like you’ve been thrown together, now matter how far in advance you plan) and getting yourself out of the door the first chance you get.

Likewise, this makes it a lot easier to prioritise things in order of importance. There’s no question that your child is always going to be your first priority and take up the vast majority of your time. Next thing on the list: there is usually a back log of tasks you’ve had to either leave half done because your child wasn’t cooperating at the time, or things that weren’t practical to try and do whilst your child was awake.

On the rare occasion that you have some free time, there are usually two choices — am I going to be productive or do I just want to switch off and relax? The answer to this question will depend largely on the kind of day/week you’ve had up until this point.

The conversation I had with my friend got me thinking about the importance of reevaluating our ‘to-do’ lists and how essential it is for us all to fine-tune our priorities — despite what stage in our lives we may be at.

Don’t get me wrong, some people prefer to go with the flow and take every day as it comes, getting done what they get done and leaving everything else for another day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this approach to life, if it suits you and your lifestyle then that’s totally fine.

However, for anyone who feels like they don’t have enough time and day after day is passing you by and you’re ‘not getting enough done’ ask yourself: “is this really a priority?”. Rather than cramming another thing onto your ever-growing and alarmingly long to-do list, have a think about what tasks can be removed to take off some of the pressure.

We all like to think we are using our time wisely by forcing ourselves to plan our every waking moment, doing things we’ve been conditioned to believe are productive and whilst some things may be worth doing; it’s more valuable to do less things that serve more of a purpose in the long run. This can be in relation to our professional life, personal life or in terms of making a positive contribution to our well-being.

Don’t let outside pressures get inside of your head. It’s not for anyone else to determine how you should be utilising your time. Only you can decide what serves you and has a significant impact on your life versus what you are happy to live without.

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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The secret to staying happy during a pandemic!

Hey guys!

How is it already September? And what a weird and wacky year it has been so far!

I feel like my ramblings must be starting to have an uncanny likeness to the sounds of a broken record just lately, however; during these unprecedented and uncertain times, my emotions have been up and down like a yo-yo.

I don’t mean to harp on, but I’m pretty confident that trying to live life through a pandemic has stirred up so many different emotions for so many people. In the last few months, I am sadly in amongst the masses of people who have recently faced redundancy. Having previously worked for a small business before going on maternity leave, in the midst of negotiating the terms of my return to work; my employer had to make my role redundant as my position was no longer feasible and unfortunately there were no other suitable roles within the company. So now like probably millions of others, it’s back to the drawing board for me.

On the flip side: whilst my partner’s employer was also reviewing redundancies within his workplace, we found out a few weeks back that he is lucky enough to be getting kept on, which provides us with some financial stability at least, for which we are extremely grateful.

It’s safe to say everyone is going through some sort of struggle at the hands of COVID. Whether they have been directly impacted (in the form of losing a loved one or contracting the virus themselves) or whether it is in a professional or psychological capacity — it’s fair to say that we are all starting to feel the strain in some way or another.

From my perspective; it’s the lack of control over what I am able to do with my life on a daily basis — even on the most basic level that constantly has me teetering on the brink of insanity.

Being forced to spend so much time indoors with a 1-year-old can be so suffocating at times. It’s a lot easier when the weather is cooperating, but if it’s too warm or raining then you’re options are even more limited.

I hate to seem like I am complaining because I can wholeheartedly declare that motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love my son unconditionally and love being a mother. But, whilst it’s great for us to be able to spend so much time together, the current limitations are not parent-friendly.

What do I mean by parent-friendly? Sometimes, I feel like as a parent you’re expected to be able to constantly run on low, or no battery whilst simultaneously maintaining the patience of a saint. It’s like forgetting to plug your phone in when you go to sleep at night and waking up surprised that the battery is now dead. Likewise, as a human-being; if you are unable to recharge your battery and get even the basic level of rest and nourishment required, then you will not be able to function, or only at a very poor level.

Flashback to pre-pandemic/lockdown life – I would be able to go out and do things with my son on a daily basis to keep him active and stimulated and help expel some of his seemingly endless supply of energy. But being stuck indoors a lot more, means that I’m having to constantly think up different ways of keeping him occupied and stimulated. Also factor in the aspect that he is now a lot more active and inquisitive as he is walking and I’m forever exhausted!

Exhaustion is one thing, but then add sleep deprivation to the list as his teething has had him waking in the night again and it’s just a recipe for emotional disaster.

It’s so bittersweet as my son is a complete and utter Mummy’s boy, which is absolutely adorable at times. But he has always been a very clingy and demanding child. Although he is much more independent than he was when he was younger and of course we encourage him to be independent and don’t always give in when he has his tantrums, but he just wants my undivided attention 24/7. I try to rationalise that he is obviously a lot more needy as he’s in a lot of pain and discomfort and he is still very much a baby, but especially in recent weeks, my patience levels have been running on empty and it makes me feel very guilty and at times just plain miserable.

What gets me through times like that is remembering he will not be so young and needy forever. At the moment, I am his entire world and that is such a privilege and a blessing. Once he grows up and gains more independence and understanding that there is more to life, off he’ll go and I will most definitely miss it. However, it’s easy to say that when things have calmed down, but harder to remember when you’ve got someone constantly whinging in your ear, unaware of when you’re having a bad day and in need of some self-care.

But that is the key to maintaining some semblance of our sanity during these abnormal and undependable times. Taking out some much needed time for ourselves. Whatever our woes may be or the testing times we may be facing in our lives. My struggle of late has been the struggle of motherhood during a pandemic, but we are all battling against something.

In addition, I truly believe the key to happiness is a positive mindset. It’s too easy to allow negativity to consume us. For example, if we have had a string of bad days and have not given ourselves some time outside of a gloomy environment to collect our thoughts, realign our minds and open ourselves back up to restoring positive energy and improving our mood, then of course we will continue to feel unhappy.

Lately, if ever l find myself feeling overwhelmed or at the end of my tether, one of the ways that I have been managing my emotions is by keeping a list of positive things I have to be grateful for in life, or things that I like about myself. That way on my toughest days, I have something uplifting to refer back to, to give me the strength to turn things around!

That said, I’m sure I’m not the only person who is trying to get scouted as the newest member of The Avengers and really thinks they can take on the world some days! I cannot stress the importance of always setting aside some time out to allow yourself to relax.

Whether that means taking an hour to have a nice relaxing pamper session, taking some time out to switch off in front of the TV with your favourite snacks and film; getting stuck into a good book, or on a much more simple (but just as effective) level; having some quiet time alone to collect your thoughts — whatever it is that floats your boat and restores your balance.

As lonely as life can often feel, none of us are in this alone. It can be hard to reach out and sometimes it may seem difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but for every bad or challenging day, a great day is guaranteed to be waiting right around the corner! Although there are still limitations to what we can do socially, pick up the phone and reach out to a loved one, make some plans and give yourself something to look forward to!

Most importantly, just allow yourself to be happy!

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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Reflect and realign.

Hey guys!

I’m really trying to maintain this regular blog updating life, so before I end up falling back into my old habit of ‘not finding the time’ (although a truly legitimate claim), I thought I would make the time.

Honestly, unless you’ve had children yourself, you will never truly understand just how rushed off of your feet a 10 month old baby can have you — especially during a pandemic, with limited ways to break up your day, but we make the time for the things we love and we move 👏🏾.

Understandably, so far, the lockdown life has had its fair share of ups and downs for us all! As with anything in life, if we are being realistic, then highs and lows are inevitable. We have all been forced outside of our respective comfort zones in one way or another and our current day-to-day is likely to be looking very different to what we were previously accustomed to.

Some of us have been following government guidelines to the letter, some of us may have altered them slightly to better suit our circumstances, and some people are in full-blown gangsters paradise mode and have decided not only to do their own thing, but that it’s only right to keep all of their social media platforms updated with a play-by-play of their every treacherous move 👀.

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Regardless of which of the above categories relates to you and your circumstances, I think it’s fair to say that everyone’s mental health has been through somewhat of beating – ranging from feeling like we’ve just been shoved about a bit, to some of us now feeling as though we’ve been through 12 rounds with Tyson Fury!

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On the plus side, things seem to be starting to slowly move forward. I don’t want to use the term ‘back to normal’ as I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s of the mindset that normality as we know it, is no more.

It has been announced that non-essential shops are due to start reopening in the next few weeks. Also, Boris Johnson has announced that from Monday we can meet in groups of up to 6 people from different households, in outdoor settings, including private gardens (woop woop!). There have even been whispers of the phased re-opening of pub gardens in the coming weeks (oo-er).

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At least that gives us all something to look forward to. Especially for those of us who have actually been keeping our distance (no shade), but we more than most, are dying to make contact with our wider social circle and remind ourselves that people do exist outside of our own four walls; and not just the people we see moving shiftily an additional 5 metres (on top of the recommended 2 metres); away from us in the park, or on our weekly trip to the supermarket for essentials 🙄😂.

On another note, one thing that has not sat well with me during this time, are the multitude of memes/quotes floating around with words to a similar effect to:

Whoever checked in on you during lockdown makes you realise who your real friends are, those who didn’t obviously don’t care.’

Various people across social media

I definitely do not agree with this sentiment. Covid-19 has turned everybody’s lives upside down and inside out, all at the same time. Nobody has known whether they are coming or going during recent months.

It is completely unfair to project our feelings of insecurity and uncertainty onto others, and either imply or assume that it is someone else’s job (from an entirely different household from you at that), to constantly check up on you to ensure that you are okay.

Don’t get me wrong, this is definitely not to say that we shouldn’t touch base with loved ones when we can. But there seems to be a common assumption amongst certain people (hopefully a minority) that they are owed special attention.

In addition, there is also the misconception that everybody is on the same page. Not to harp on with the Mum card, but I can only speak for my own circumstances. For me, despite having a great ethic of teamwork within my household and an extremely supportive partner, our days are very much occupied with our beautiful son. Therefore, flippant comments such as, ‘well since you have all of this free time now’ and ‘I’m sure you can find the time to do x, y and z’, don’t apply to us.

For parents, especially of younger children, reality is making it through each day and stealing the odd sacred moment to yourself, then being so knackered by the time your child goes to bed that there is only a limited time before you are forced do the same!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and lockdown for me, despite the general ups and downs we’ve all been facing, it’s been great spending time with my little family. Getting back to my original point; although I make a conscious effort to find the time to check in with friends and family and vice versa, none of us are obligated to do so.

We are all just getting by the best that we can, and just as before the Coronavirus pandemic, our daily lives all look very different. None of us truly know the impact the lockdown has had on others, so it’s not fair or productive to sit and stew in negative energy assuming that people have not reached out because they don’t care. Plus as always, maintaining relationships works both ways and for the friendships built on a strong foundation, we should know it’s all love without the need to be constantly reminded.

It’s so easy for us all to get inside of our own heads, but sometimes it’s worth taking a step back and having a breather – usually everything begins to look a lot brighter.

Thanks for reading guys.

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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Always keep it 100!

There is no secret recipe for eternal happiness, and whilst we are encouraged to try endless techniques that are said to improve our mindset and lift our mood — we have to be realistic and take every day as it comes. Sometimes if we’re not feeling it, it’s literally as simple as that!

On a serious note, last week was a really tough week for me emotionally. My emotions were all over the place, ranging from: uncertainty; frustration and loneliness to anger that I was even feeling any of those things in the first place — because I should have been ‘strong’ enough’ to maintain a positive mindset.

However, in reality, life is unpredictable and nothing is promised, including the way we may be feeling from one day to the next.

We are always told to ‘think positive’ and that we are the masters of the energy we emit versus the energy we attract. Although, this is largely true, above all else, we owe it to ourselves to be true to how we are feeling at any given moment in time.

If we’re not feeling great, then we shouldn’t feel pressured to fake it. It is healthier to express our emotions, than to repress them and pretend like everything is fine when it’s not.

Sometimes all we need is a little help from our friends. So, instead of trying to take on the world and breaking our backs attempting to carry it’s weight around on our shoulders – what if we swallow our pride and let go of the stigma that showing emotions makes us weak?

We should stop putting pressure on ourselves to maintain the illusion that we are happy all day every day, and whenever we’re not feeling good, we should have no qualms about reaching out to somebody we love and trust, to talk it all out.

Especially during times where we are at a physical distance, it’s so important for our mental health that we remain vocal and open about how we’re feeling, and most importantly: STAY CONNECTED!

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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What do you miss most?

Whilst life under lockdown definitely continues to ‘go on’, I think we can all agree that it certainly comes with its restrictions.

Although, I am the firmest believer that it’s all in the mindset and of course we must remain positive, I can’t be the only person reminiscing longingly of the life that once was.

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By no means, does this make us bad people – it is simply human nature. Plus, there is a massive difference between dwelling on things that we are unable to change and sparing a few moments to reflect and appreciate the life that awaits us once we are able to click the resume button.

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Also, isn’t it bizarre how we’d now give our right arm to be able to indulge in once thought of as mundane everyday things? Even something as simple as waltzing in and out of the supermarket at our own leisure suddenly seems like a godsend.

However, this doesn’t mean our ingratitude was a conscious thing. Surely no one sets out to be ungrateful, right? But as they say: ‘you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’.

With that said, what is it that you miss the most? If there was one thing you were previously able to do freely and without question and you were given the opportunity to do it right now, what would it be?

Furthermore, what is the one thing that you can’t wait to do once life adjusts back to normality (in whatever form this may now come). Let’s face it, regardless of our current circumstances. one thing most, if not all, of us have is a lot of time on our hands.

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Let’s all set aside some of that time today and let our imaginations run wild — the possibilities are endless.

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Stay sane guys!

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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R E S P E C T: is it truly a two way street?

A lexicographer would define the meaning of respect as: ‘due regard for feelings, wishes, or rights of others.’ Whilst many of us believe respect should work both ways i.e. ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ — can we honestly say that we feel others hold true regard for our feelings and wishes, on the same level that we do for them?

At times it seems as though people only have consideration for themselves. To an extent, we can all be guilty of getting swept away in the ups and downs of the whirlwind that is life, but there comes a time when we must realise that some people simply exist solely for the drama!

These people are so ignorantly blissful basking in the waters of their self-absorption, they appear unable to comprehend that the world was intended to inhabit billions of other people, as opposed to just them and their humungous ego.

Many of us spend our lives striving to be a good friend, sibling, partner and all-round good person. Although we may not necessarily believe in karma, it only makes sense that if we treat others with kindness and respect then that treatment should be returned to us like a boomerang.

Expectation:

Reality:

We should now be at the stage in life where we only have room for solid and lasting relationships with clear co-ordinates indicating exactly where we stand, and be on a level playing field with the other person/people involved.

Gone are the days of feeling as if we have to treat every conversation we have like another riddle to crack — wondering if there was a hidden meaning behind each and every word uttered by the other person.

Life is way too short to be second guessing ourselves and taking on other people’s constant dramas and issues as our own. Of course, there is a major difference between supporting a friend in times of need and enabling someone who clearly has no regard for our feelings, wishes and rights, to fall deeper into their narcissistic hole of self-obsession.

Put simply, respect is most definitely a two-way street and if we have the consideration to take other people’s feelings and wishes into account, then there is absolutely no reason as to why they cannot take time out of their ‘busy’ schedules to show us the same kindness. As life goes on, we are all busy and generally have less free-time on our hands, but for those we truly care about we will always be able to make time. Successful relationships (whether romantic or platonic) take equal contributions from both parties in order to stand the test of time.

Of course we do not give with the intention of receiving, but then again we have every right to expect to get out what we put in, especially when it comes to people. Being continually overlooked and having our thoughts and feelings disregarded impacts on our self-esteem and how we view ourselves.

Negativity can spread like wildfire, so its best to surround ourselves with positive people who want nothing more than to see us succeed, as we do the same for them.

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky xo