R E S P E C T: is it truly a two way street?

A lexicographer would define the meaning of respect as: ‘due regard for feelings, wishes, or rights of others.’ Whilst many of us believe respect should work both ways i.e. ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ — can we honestly say that we feel others hold true regard for our feelings and wishes, on the same level that we do for them?

At times it seems as though people only have consideration for themselves. To an extent, we can all be guilty of getting swept away in the ups and downs of the whirlwind that is life, but there comes a time when we must realise that some people simply exist solely for the drama!

These people are so ignorantly blissful basking in the waters of their self-absorption, they appear unable to comprehend that the world was intended to inhabit billions of other people, as opposed to just them and their humungous ego.

Many of us spend our lives striving to be a good friend, sibling, partner and all-round good person. Although we may not necessarily believe in karma, it only makes sense that if we treat others with kindness and respect then that treatment should be returned to us like a boomerang.

Expectation:

Reality:

We should now be at the stage in life where we only have room for solid and lasting relationships with clear co-ordinates indicating exactly where we stand, and be on a level playing field with the other person/people involved.

Gone are the days of feeling as if we have to treat every conversation we have like another riddle to crack — wondering if there was a hidden meaning behind each and every word uttered by the other person.

Life is way too short to be second guessing ourselves and taking on other people’s constant dramas and issues as our own. Of course, there is a major difference between supporting a friend in times of need and enabling someone who clearly has no regard for our feelings, wishes and rights, to fall deeper into their narcissistic hole of self-obsession.

Put simply, respect is most definitely a two-way street and if we have the consideration to take other people’s feelings and wishes into account, then there is absolutely no reason as to why they cannot take time out of their ‘busy’ schedules to show us the same kindness. As life goes on, we are all busy and generally have less free-time on our hands, but for those we truly care about we will always be able to make time. Successful relationships (whether romantic or platonic) take equal contributions from both parties in order to stand the test of time.

Of course we do not give with the intention of receiving, but then again we have every right to expect to get out what we put in, especially when it comes to people. Being continually overlooked and having our thoughts and feelings disregarded impacts on our self-esteem and how we view ourselves.

Negativity can spread like wildfire, so its best to surround ourselves with positive people who want nothing more than to see us succeed, as we do the same for them.

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky xo

The true definition of living your #bestlife.

It is so crazy how carried away we all get in our daily routines. I for one, vow year-on-year to become more organised and make more time to do the things I love, and although there are definitely always improvements – they often come in fits and starts.

For example, I constantly tell myself I will find the time to blog more regularly and before I know it’s mid July! Realistically, sticking to a daily routine and having structure in our lives is inevitable and it is actually healthy.

However, whilst being essential to a certain extent, if we find ourselves living merely for the mundanity of everyday life there comes a time when we must acknowledge that change needs to happen.

Besides, FOMO is no joke — especially trying to stay afloat in a sea swarming with millennials, who default to panic mode at the mere thought of possibly being deprived the ‘opportunity’ to share every living, breathing second of their lives with the rest of the world.

Although when it comes down to it, social media is known to consist mainly of a highlight reel – whereby people portray their everyday lives as being much more interesting and eventful than they truly are, but it is hard not to feel as though our own lives are somewhat inadequate.

In a sense we get sidetracked so much with idealising the lives of others, that we lose sight of what we could be doing to contribute towards our own happiness and how we could be living our #bestlife! Our constant fear of missing out leaves many of us convinced that just because we aren’t doing the same ‘amazing’ things as all of the people we are following on the gram, we are somehow incapable of living life to the fullest in our own way.

As a generation, we have been brainwashed into believing that in order to make the most out of life, our every day experiences should be oozing extravagance and our diaries need to be filled to the brim with one bourgeoisie event after the next.

Nowadays, people class #goals as someone who strives to live above and beyond their means, splashes cash that they don’t really have on flamboyant clothing and other materialistic items – that they have no need for. Oh – and we can’t forget the most important step at all – post it on the gram to thousands of followers, most of which they don’t even know.

But how about if for a change, we decide to life for ourselves and abandon the mindset of living only for what we think will impress those around us? We have started to take for granted those precious moments present in every day life that make life worth living. Whilst, jetting off on multiple holidays and having all the money we desire sounds like a dream, we will never be happy if this is all that we set our sites on – because there is simply more to life than material possessions.

Getting the best out of life, is about surrounding ourselves with loyal, supportive and  kind-hearted people who want nothing from us other than to bear witness to our success and happiness. To me, living my best life is continuing to maintain a positive mindset despite any obstacles that may try to intervene, remaining focused on my end goal in life, and all whilst sheltered by a support system of genuine and loving family and friends.

Obviously the occasional holiday/treat is also much appreciated ;).

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky xo

What awaits you in 2017?

If like myself, you’ve never been one for the whole ‘new year, new me’ bravado– you are most likely cringing in wait of the inevitable viral spreading of these such statements on all of your social media platforms (cue eye roll):

Too often people act as if between the few minutes it takes to go from 11:59pm on December 31st to 12:01am on 1st January, the world is put under a magical spell that teleports us all into the idealistic version of our lives, thus erasing all former versions of our existence.

However as we all know this is sadly not the case. 

Of course there are always going to be past regrets and unfulfilled promises we made to ourselves in the previous year, but in life there is always a lesson to be learned and a message to be carried over to the next year. Rather than focusing on how to erase all that went wrong last year, we should be using it as a guide on how to do better in the new year.

Many of us choose not to make New Year’s Resolutions as we are so ready to give up on them before we have even fully attempted to commit to them, adopting a defeatous attitude as we tell ourselves things along the lines of ‘I know I won’t go to the gym so there’s no point signing up in the first place’. 

On the other hand, is there really any harm in setting down some marker posts as a guide that will hopefully help us achieve some of our goals? 

Although it’s worthwhile being mindful of the social stereotypes of pointless and unfulfilled New Year’s Resolutions, there is a difference between setting ourselves unrealistic expectations and using the new year as as tool to begin a new chapter in our lives and pathe the way to achieving greatness.

Everyone likes a clean break, and there are times when we all wish there truly was a magic reset button that would enable us to do-over all of the areas in our lives where we feel we could’ve made better choices, but that’s not how life works.

There is no point in us living our lives in regret and dwelling on what could have or should have been, because at the end of the day although Marty McFly and Doc Brown will tell us otherwise.. 

…we cannot go back and change what has already happened, which means it does us absolutely no good to spend our days dwelling over past decisions.
Instead we should be thinking about how we intend to approach things differently and setting ourselves timescales to enable us to check in on our progress so that it is a lifestyle change as opposed to a quick fix for the next year. 

The only question we should all really be asking ourselves is, what do I aim to acheive in 2017?

What are we waiting for? The decision is ours.

Ready, set…acheive!

Thanks for reading guys, have a wonderful new year!

Vicky ✌ xo