Reflect and realign.

Hey guys!

I’m really trying to maintain this regular blog updating life, so before I end up falling back into my old habit of ‘not finding the time’ (although a truly legitimate claim), I thought I would make the time.

Honestly, unless you’ve had children yourself, you will never truly understand just how rushed off of your feet a 10 month old baby can have you — especially during a pandemic, with limited ways to break up your day, but we make the time for the things we love and we move 👏🏾.

Understandably, so far, the lockdown life has had its fair share of ups and downs for us all! As with anything in life, if we are being realistic, then highs and lows are inevitable. We have all been forced outside of our respective comfort zones in one way or another and our current day-to-day is likely to be looking very different to what we were previously accustomed to.

Some of us have been following government guidelines to the letter, some of us may have altered them slightly to better suit our circumstances, and some people are in full-blown gangsters paradise mode and have decided not only to do their own thing, but that it’s only right to keep all of their social media platforms updated with a play-by-play of their every treacherous move 👀.

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Regardless of which of the above categories relates to you and your circumstances, I think it’s fair to say that everyone’s mental health has been through somewhat of beating – ranging from feeling like we’ve just been shoved about a bit, to some of us now feeling as though we’ve been through 12 rounds with Tyson Fury!

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On the plus side, things seem to be starting to slowly move forward. I don’t want to use the term ‘back to normal’ as I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s of the mindset that normality as we know it, is no more.

It has been announced that non-essential shops are due to start reopening in the next few weeks. Also, Boris Johnson has announced that from Monday we can meet in groups of up to 6 people from different households, in outdoor settings, including private gardens (woop woop!). There have even been whispers of the phased re-opening of pub gardens in the coming weeks (oo-er).

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At least that gives us all something to look forward to. Especially for those of us who have actually been keeping our distance (no shade), but we more than most, are dying to make contact with our wider social circle and remind ourselves that people do exist outside of our own four walls; and not just the people we see moving shiftily an additional 5 metres (on top of the recommended 2 metres); away from us in the park, or on our weekly trip to the supermarket for essentials 🙄😂.

On another note, one thing that has not sat well with me during this time, are the multitude of memes/quotes floating around with words to a similar effect to:

Whoever checked in on you during lockdown makes you realise who your real friends are, those who didn’t obviously don’t care.’

Various people across social media

I definitely do not agree with this sentiment. Covid-19 has turned everybody’s lives upside down and inside out, all at the same time. Nobody has known whether they are coming or going during recent months.

It is completely unfair to project our feelings of insecurity and uncertainty onto others, and either imply or assume that it is someone else’s job (from an entirely different household from you at that), to constantly check up on you to ensure that you are okay.

Don’t get me wrong, this is definitely not to say that we shouldn’t touch base with loved ones when we can. But there seems to be a common assumption amongst certain people (hopefully a minority) that they are owed special attention.

In addition, there is also the misconception that everybody is on the same page. Not to harp on with the Mum card, but I can only speak for my own circumstances. For me, despite having a great ethic of teamwork within my household and an extremely supportive partner, our days are very much occupied with our beautiful son. Therefore, flippant comments such as, ‘well since you have all of this free time now’ and ‘I’m sure you can find the time to do x, y and z’, don’t apply to us.

For parents, especially of younger children, reality is making it through each day and stealing the odd sacred moment to yourself, then being so knackered by the time your child goes to bed that there is only a limited time before you are forced do the same!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and lockdown for me, despite the general ups and downs we’ve all been facing, it’s been great spending time with my little family. Getting back to my original point; although I make a conscious effort to find the time to check in with friends and family and vice versa, none of us are obligated to do so.

We are all just getting by the best that we can, and just as before the Coronavirus pandemic, our daily lives all look very different. None of us truly know the impact the lockdown has had on others, so it’s not fair or productive to sit and stew in negative energy assuming that people have not reached out because they don’t care. Plus as always, maintaining relationships works both ways and for the friendships built on a strong foundation, we should know it’s all love without the need to be constantly reminded.

It’s so easy for us all to get inside of our own heads, but sometimes it’s worth taking a step back and having a breather – usually everything begins to look a lot brighter.

Thanks for reading guys.

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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Always keep it 100!

There is no secret recipe for eternal happiness, and whilst we are encouraged to try endless techniques that are said to improve our mindset and lift our mood — we have to be realistic and take every day as it comes. Sometimes if we’re not feeling it, it’s literally as simple as that!

On a serious note, last week was a really tough week for me emotionally. My emotions were all over the place, ranging from: uncertainty; frustration and loneliness to anger that I was even feeling any of those things in the first place — because I should have been ‘strong’ enough’ to maintain a positive mindset.

However, in reality, life is unpredictable and nothing is promised, including the way we may be feeling from one day to the next.

We are always told to ‘think positive’ and that we are the masters of the energy we emit versus the energy we attract. Although, this is largely true, above all else, we owe it to ourselves to be true to how we are feeling at any given moment in time.

If we’re not feeling great, then we shouldn’t feel pressured to fake it. It is healthier to express our emotions, than to repress them and pretend like everything is fine when it’s not.

Sometimes all we need is a little help from our friends. So, instead of trying to take on the world and breaking our backs attempting to carry it’s weight around on our shoulders – what if we swallow our pride and let go of the stigma that showing emotions makes us weak?

We should stop putting pressure on ourselves to maintain the illusion that we are happy all day every day, and whenever we’re not feeling good, we should have no qualms about reaching out to somebody we love and trust, to talk it all out.

Especially during times where we are at a physical distance, it’s so important for our mental health that we remain vocal and open about how we’re feeling, and most importantly: STAY CONNECTED!

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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What do you miss most?

Whilst life under lockdown definitely continues to ‘go on’, I think we can all agree that it certainly comes with its restrictions.

Although, I am the firmest believer that it’s all in the mindset and of course we must remain positive, I can’t be the only person reminiscing longingly of the life that once was.

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By no means, does this make us bad people – it is simply human nature. Plus, there is a massive difference between dwelling on things that we are unable to change and sparing a few moments to reflect and appreciate the life that awaits us once we are able to click the resume button.

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Also, isn’t it bizarre how we’d now give our right arm to be able to indulge in once thought of as mundane everyday things? Even something as simple as waltzing in and out of the supermarket at our own leisure suddenly seems like a godsend.

However, this doesn’t mean our ingratitude was a conscious thing. Surely no one sets out to be ungrateful, right? But as they say: ‘you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’.

With that said, what is it that you miss the most? If there was one thing you were previously able to do freely and without question and you were given the opportunity to do it right now, what would it be?

Furthermore, what is the one thing that you can’t wait to do once life adjusts back to normality (in whatever form this may now come). Let’s face it, regardless of our current circumstances. one thing most, if not all, of us have is a lot of time on our hands.

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Let’s all set aside some of that time today and let our imaginations run wild — the possibilities are endless.

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Stay sane guys!

Vicky ✌🏽 xo

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R E S P E C T: is it truly a two way street?

A lexicographer would define the meaning of respect as: ‘due regard for feelings, wishes, or rights of others.’ Whilst many of us believe respect should work both ways i.e. ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ — can we honestly say that we feel others hold true regard for our feelings and wishes, on the same level that we do for them?

At times it seems as though people only have consideration for themselves. To an extent, we can all be guilty of getting swept away in the ups and downs of the whirlwind that is life, but there comes a time when we must realise that some people simply exist solely for the drama!

These people are so ignorantly blissful basking in the waters of their self-absorption, they appear unable to comprehend that the world was intended to inhabit billions of other people, as opposed to just them and their humungous ego.

Many of us spend our lives striving to be a good friend, sibling, partner and all-round good person. Although we may not necessarily believe in karma, it only makes sense that if we treat others with kindness and respect then that treatment should be returned to us like a boomerang.

Expectation:

Reality:

We should now be at the stage in life where we only have room for solid and lasting relationships with clear co-ordinates indicating exactly where we stand, and be on a level playing field with the other person/people involved.

Gone are the days of feeling as if we have to treat every conversation we have like another riddle to crack — wondering if there was a hidden meaning behind each and every word uttered by the other person.

Life is way too short to be second guessing ourselves and taking on other people’s constant dramas and issues as our own. Of course, there is a major difference between supporting a friend in times of need and enabling someone who clearly has no regard for our feelings, wishes and rights, to fall deeper into their narcissistic hole of self-obsession.

Put simply, respect is most definitely a two-way street and if we have the consideration to take other people’s feelings and wishes into account, then there is absolutely no reason as to why they cannot take time out of their ‘busy’ schedules to show us the same kindness. As life goes on, we are all busy and generally have less free-time on our hands, but for those we truly care about we will always be able to make time. Successful relationships (whether romantic or platonic) take equal contributions from both parties in order to stand the test of time.

Of course we do not give with the intention of receiving, but then again we have every right to expect to get out what we put in, especially when it comes to people. Being continually overlooked and having our thoughts and feelings disregarded impacts on our self-esteem and how we view ourselves.

Negativity can spread like wildfire, so its best to surround ourselves with positive people who want nothing more than to see us succeed, as we do the same for them.

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky xo

The true definition of living your #bestlife.

It is so crazy how carried away we all get in our daily routines. I for one, vow year-on-year to become more organised and make more time to do the things I love, and although there are definitely always improvements – they often come in fits and starts.

For example, I constantly tell myself I will find the time to blog more regularly and before I know it’s mid July! Realistically, sticking to a daily routine and having structure in our lives is inevitable and it is actually healthy.

However, whilst being essential to a certain extent, if we find ourselves living merely for the mundanity of everyday life there comes a time when we must acknowledge that change needs to happen.

Besides, FOMO is no joke — especially trying to stay afloat in a sea swarming with millennials, who default to panic mode at the mere thought of possibly being deprived the ‘opportunity’ to share every living, breathing second of their lives with the rest of the world.

Although when it comes down to it, social media is known to consist mainly of a highlight reel – whereby people portray their everyday lives as being much more interesting and eventful than they truly are, but it is hard not to feel as though our own lives are somewhat inadequate.

In a sense we get sidetracked so much with idealising the lives of others, that we lose sight of what we could be doing to contribute towards our own happiness and how we could be living our #bestlife! Our constant fear of missing out leaves many of us convinced that just because we aren’t doing the same ‘amazing’ things as all of the people we are following on the gram, we are somehow incapable of living life to the fullest in our own way.

As a generation, we have been brainwashed into believing that in order to make the most out of life, our every day experiences should be oozing extravagance and our diaries need to be filled to the brim with one bourgeoisie event after the next.

Nowadays, people class #goals as someone who strives to live above and beyond their means, splashes cash that they don’t really have on flamboyant clothing and other materialistic items – that they have no need for. Oh – and we can’t forget the most important step at all – post it on the gram to thousands of followers, most of which they don’t even know.

But how about if for a change, we decide to life for ourselves and abandon the mindset of living only for what we think will impress those around us? We have started to take for granted those precious moments present in every day life that make life worth living. Whilst, jetting off on multiple holidays and having all the money we desire sounds like a dream, we will never be happy if this is all that we set our sites on – because there is simply more to life than material possessions.

Getting the best out of life, is about surrounding ourselves with loyal, supportive and  kind-hearted people who want nothing from us other than to bear witness to our success and happiness. To me, living my best life is continuing to maintain a positive mindset despite any obstacles that may try to intervene, remaining focused on my end goal in life, and all whilst sheltered by a support system of genuine and loving family and friends.

Obviously the occasional holiday/treat is also much appreciated ;).

Thanks for reading guys,

Vicky xo

Valentine’s Day

Hey guys! As I’m sure you’re all aware each year when February 14th graces us all with its presence the world goes into uproar😱! ‘Why?’ I hear you all yell…why it’s Valentine’s Day of course!

Now, there are many people out there that legitimately couldn’t care less if ‘St Valentine’ himself (assuming we believe he was once a real person), was resurrected from the dead and flew above the clouds for all to see Cupid-style!

Then you you have the singletons who fall into two sub-categories: you have the people who take the whole ‘who needs a man I’ve got my girls attitude ‘ – some of which may genuinely mean it…others not so much.

Falling under that same category are the single people that really couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day and are happy with their own independence…

It’s all quite complex business because some people automatically think that being in a relationship means that V Day is their golden opportunity to make it look like they, and their partner are as loved-up as possible, flaunting their gifts and outings; usually for the benefit of social media spectators and basically everyone except themselves.

On the other hand, you get those couples that welcome any opportunity to express their love. Yes, they agree that Valentine’s Day is just any other day, but it’s any other day for them to show their luurrrve…

Lastly, there are the couples that literally cannot be bothered! They have simply been together too long , and don’t see why they should make a big deal about a day which, in their eyes is just another holiday which has been manipulated by the media, into a rouse to make you spend you’re money…so they just don’t take the whole thing seriously!

My views on the whole thing? Whether single or taken it’s really however big of a deal you want to make it. While I agree that yes it is just any other day, what’s to say that it can’t be any other day creating memories with loved ones? Whether that means a partner, close friends or even family!

I know this sounds cheesier than a six-pack of Wotsits, but life really is too short to be getting hung up on politics. A nugget of wisdom for you my friends…

Do whatever makes you happy😬.

Thanks for reading ✌️